What’s more infuriating than removing pet hair from black slacks? What’s more frustrating than getting a three-year-old to stop asking why? What’s more obnoxious than having a computer crash whilst you’re writing the last page of an essay? Waiting on hold with health insurance. For three hours. That’s what. Life can’t be controlled….

I’ve noticed someone recently. Not like, “Look, over there. There’s a human in that location. Interesting. Noted.” I have a mini crush. If you know me, you know how utterly ridiculous this sounds. Because Brooklyn doesn’t have crushes. So, you may be thinking I’m joking. No, I’m not joking. But thanks for asking….

Finding your purpose is important. Totes important. So take a gap year from college and hike the nearest mountain to meditate on its top at mid-afternoon. Or get struck by lighting. Because that’s exactly what happens mid-afternoon on top of mountains. That ever-illusive urge to find your purpose and “make a difference” can…

The ravenous beasts nipped at my heals. How could I appease them? They snarled at my every command to “Leave me alone!” and “Don’t come any closer!” These monsters have always struck terror in my heart. The creatures they call “children.” The last two posts in this series discussed the fear of failure…

Four lattes and two Red Bulls into the day and it’s only 11 o’clock. You were up until 4 last night and woke at 6 this morning. You’re trying to hit a deadline to release your latest product. A spatula that can transform into a wisk. Which can transform into a knife. Which can…

Rollercoasters. The sight of blood. Spiders. Snakes. Dreams of being naked in public and peeing yourself from the fright… Fears. We all have them. We’re trying to avoid them. Whether it’s by going no deeper than our knees in the scary dark ocean or doing eccentric dances every time a bee comes by,…

“You’re depressed. You have to be,” my doctor told me. Frankly. Rudely. I leaned away from him, trying not to let the sudden coldness in my demeanor crawl onto my face. “But I’m not. I’m really content right now,” I replied, frustrated at his ignorant statement. He made without asking me any questions about…

It’s not a violent end to life. A slow suffocation by means of piles of boxes, plastic, and shipping envelopes. A fall of fate due to tripping on a very cute pair of pajama pants. An unfortunate run-in with the sharp side of a metal medical cart. All ways I would gladly die….

In the midst of being hooked up to a food pump and the incessant humming of the mini fridge in my bedroom, I’m feeling overwhelmed. We added a new(ish) dresser, a cart organizer, a mini fridge, a ten-gallon trashcan, and a new IV pole, all to accommodate my 24/7 IV therapy. Aalso, new…

“Have you gained any weight?” asked the deep, and slightly sarcastic, voice on the other side of the phone. “Not yet dad, I’m working on it,” I replied, slightly annoyed. It’s true. I’m working on gaining weight as much as a snail can work on reducing its slime. Or increasing its speed. Or…